She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Randomize
