I wannas sexs uuuuu
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
