We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
My ATM looks so different sober.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
