there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
