It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
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