I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
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