I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Randomize
