i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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