I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
