Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
