it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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