That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Acid is not a monday night drug
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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