ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Randomize
