my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Randomize
