I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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