hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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