after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
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