We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
