I think I just saw someone hide a body.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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