i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
