Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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