i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
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