remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Randomize