Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
well, you know. whores of a feather.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize