Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
