Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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