david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
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