everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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