At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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