I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
