Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
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