Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
