How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Randomize