Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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