Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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