The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
