operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Randomize
