whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
