Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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