My first STD was from a foam party
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
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