so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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