I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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