I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
