Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
