I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
