I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
