I just made out with a guy for $7.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
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