when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
