It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
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