Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
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