I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
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