we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
