I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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