Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
