Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
