Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize