Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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