you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
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