do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
what day is it and did you see me today?
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
