do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Randomize
