I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
