How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Walk of Shame today included voting.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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