I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
her vagine was all disorganized.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
