GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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