Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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